The "arrival fallacy," a concept popularized by psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar, is the false belief that achieving a specific goal will bring lasting happiness or fulfillment. When I’m working with my clients, they usually are hyper focused on achievements such as winning a championship, earning a scholarship, or achieving a personal best will lead to on-going satisfaction. While reaching these milestones can feel incredible in the moment, the sense of fulfillment is often fleeting, leaving many athletes feeling empty, disillusioned, or asking, “what’s next?” This fallacy can create a cycle where athletes endlessly chase external achievements, believing each one will be the key to happiness, but ultimately finding that these accomplishments don’t create the lasting fulfillment they had hoped.
As a sport psychologist, I frequently encounter this mindset in athletes, and it’s crucial for parents and coaches to understand its impact. The arrival fallacy can lead athletes to neglect the process and intrinsic joys of their sport, focusing solely on the outcome. This fixation on results can heighten anxiety, reduce motivation, and even contribute to burnout.
For example, a young athlete might train tirelessly, believing that earning a college scholarship will validate their years of hard work. But when they achieve it, they may feel an unexpected emptiness because the journey—and not the destination—was where fulfillment could have been cultivated, yet was completely overlooked.
Parents and coaches play a pivotal role in helping athletes navigate the arrival fallacy. Encouraging a focus on the process—developing skills, enjoying the daily grind of training, and appreciating the camaraderie of teammates—can help shift their perspective. Teaching athletes to find value in the showing up and getting better and better – the journey of mastery, rather than the destination builds resilience and sustainable motivation. When parents and coaches reinforce the idea that personal growth, effort, and learning are the true rewards of sport, staying present in what is happening for them NOW athletes are more likely to develop a healthy relationship with competition and success, avoiding the pitfalls of the arrival fallacy.
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Stuart Singer, M.Ed., and PsyD is the Director of WellPerformance, a Mental Performance Coaching and Consulting practice, and the creator of the DoSo app https://t.co/R61vbpda4X . For more information regarding this topic, he can be contacted at ssinger@wellperformancecoach.com or follow him on X: @wellperformance, or Instagram: @wellperformance
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