Helping Athletes Overcome Negative Self-Talk: The SAIN Approach

Almost every athlete has a story they tell themselves—a recurring thought (which then connects to an emotion and actions) that keeps resurfacing. “I’m not good enough.” “I always mess up.” “I don’t belong here.” These internal narratives shape their confidence, performance, and well-being. And what I have found is that it is almost impossible for them to outperform their story with any consistency. Essentially it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, parents and coaches can help them recognize and manage these thoughts in a healthy way.

The good news? There’s a system for changing the story they tell. It’s highlighted by the acronym SAIN:

• S – Stop the automatic [negative] thought.

• A – Allow it to be there for that moment, but don’t judge yourself based on it.

• I – Investigate its truthfulness.

• N – Not You—remind yourself that this thought popped up, but that you are much more than the thought.

Why This Matters

Athletes often struggle with self-doubt, perfectionism, comparison, and fear of failure which are almost always sparked from the story they tell themselves. These thoughts trigger emotions (performance anxiety) and actions/behaviors that can hold them back. However, when we understand that thoughts are just mental events—not facts—we create space for choosing a healthier response. A great exercise is to practice mindfulness meditation daily, which teaches us to observe, but not react impulsively to what we observe. To take a pause and create space from it. 

What can we help them to do:

1. Uncover the Story – Ask open-ended questions: “What do you tell yourself when things don’t go well?”

2. Recognize & Build Awareness – Help them identify when these thoughts arise. Awareness is the first step to making changes.

3. Implement SAIN 

   • Stop – Pause and notice the thought.

   • Allow – Accept that the thought is there; no need to fight it. “What we resist, persists!”

   • Investigate – Ask, “Is this 100% true? What evidence do I have?”

   • Not You – Recognize that thoughts come and go. They are not your identity. All thoughts and emotions come and go – they’re impermanent. 

How to Apply It

Incorporate some specific skills and techniques to reinforce SAIN:

• 6-1-7 Breathing (Inhale for 6, hold for 1, exhale for 7) to regulate emotions.

• Best-Self Visualization – Ask, “What do I look like, sound like, and feel like when at my very best?”

• Cognitive Triangle (Thoughts → Emotions → Actions/Behaviors) – Teach them that by changing their thoughts, they can shift their emotions and actions. For example, “I missed that shot” instead of words like “I can’t shoot, so I’m not going to shoot the rest of the game.” By changing the way we think of the “error” we change the way we feel and act. 

• Non-Judgment, Impermanence, Non-Attachment – Show them that all thoughts are temporary and do not define us. 

By guiding athletes through exercise of SAIN, we empower them to separate from their self-doubt and begin to build a more effective way of bouncing back. The key is consistent practice, patience, and reinforcing the idea that their “thoughts are not facts!”

Encourage them to try it next time they face some challenging self-talk. You’ll be amazed at the change.